Thursday, July 1, 2010

On Marriage Being Hard

As always, Meg has impeccable timing. While I'm bitching over here about how marriage isn't all rainbows and puppies, some other lovely people are struggling with the same things.

I know a lot of people have great marriages.* But I have to say, knowing that other people wonder if they're cut out for this marriage thing too... well it makes me hopeful, actually. Hopeful that we're not as lost as it seems. Hopeful that we'll sort some of this out. And hopeful that even when I sleep on the couch or don't speak to my husband for 24 hours (on purpose so I don't explode) that maybe I'm not the horrible person that I feel.

Or, maybe I am? 

*Or are at least more secret about their not-so-greatness.


  1. Oh sweetheart, you're not horrible. You're just going through a tough time. I so wish I could do something to help you but I'm not sure there's anything I can do beyond try and extend my support from here. I really hope things get better for you, Xx

  2. yeah, I think pretty much everyone in a relationship goes through those times at some points, although doesn't it always seem that everyone else is in perfect harmonious bliss right when you are going through it?

    my standard suggestion in these situations is to concentrate on yourself, and being lovely to yourself. think of things you can do to make yourself feel better. anything you can think of - a long bath, a moan to a friend, a new dress, a walk. And as far as possible put off dwelling on the relationship issues until you feel a little better. I always find this approach means I'm better prepared to sort things out somehow, rather than let it turn into a screaming/crying abomination.

    good luck and really hope things turn and you are feeling better soon.

  3. Dude, we've all been there. The idea that living with one person for the rest of your life should pose no problems/never make you go crazy is the most unrealistic thing ever. It's an ambitious thing to embark on!

  4. My good friend sent me a link to your blog, as I have been going through a rough time in my new marriage as well and feeling pretty all alone about it. And it was so comforting to read your post and know other people go through this kind of thing too.

    Thankfully, it seems the hubs and I are starting to come to the other side of whatever had us in a funk for several months. And while I would never presume to know what would be best for you, I know that starting to see a counselor has really helped us. There's so much negative connotation with "being in therapy" but having been helped tremendously by it, I feel the need to share that it's okay. We had just been through so many changes in the year we got move across the country, new jobs for both of us, a wedding, a dog, etc. It really helps to have a mediator to help you see each others points of view and figure things out.

    Anyways I'll get off my soapbox, but thanks again!

  5. Thanks everyone. I feel a little less horrible now. Things will get better, I'm sure, it's just frustrating to be in a cycle where they don't feel as though they're improving.

    Claire, welcome. It is encouraging to hear from others who can share your challenges and successes, isn't it?