Blessings of Food

Husband loves to cook. He caters events on the side and every week be makes a meal for 30 or so people from the local university for their meeting. He's rarely happier than when he's aproned up, buzzing around the kitchen, tasting little bits of this and that.

This works out well for me, as you can imagine. 

The last few months have been horrible. I've been swamped at work, so much so that I often want to walk out at nine in the morning and crawl into bed at home because I'm drowning under the weight of what must be done right away. I'm teaching a class--for the first time ever--and find myself woefully unprepared for the task. My jewelry business is requiring massive amounts of time and the to-do list continues to grow. The organization for which I am chair of the board of directors is having a big event in one week. The house is messier than I like it and I have dozens of half-finished projects laying around. I'm so overwhelmed that simply functioning is becoming more than I can manage on some days.

But. But. The point is that I stumble downstairs each morning to find porridge ready or toast buttered. I have hot coffee or tea in a to-go mug by my purse. Many times I find a lunch packed and placed IN my giant purse ready to be carted to work. In the evenings I mumble something that I have a craving for and an hour later (or often less), it shows up, nicely plated, in front of my computer or on my studio desk. It's a miracle. And it's delicious.

I married a cook. And it's the best decision I've ever made. 

Puppies and Puddles

Lyla Lou had a bath tonight. Which she hates.

That may or may not have been the reason for the giant* puddle of pee on Husband's side of the bed that we found when heading to sleep.

But I guarantee that led to us sleeping here.






*and by giant I mean great lakes quantities of urine. Huge. Epic. I wouldn't have guessed she could hold that much.

Quite the Show

Obviously I should look at myself fully in the mirror before leaving the house. It is now nearing the end of the workday and I have realized that this bra with this shirt... well, let's just say that anyone taller than my 5'3" has a direct shot down my v-neck to my belly button.

Great. Just great.

On Marriage Being Hard

As always, Meg has impeccable timing. While I'm bitching over here about how marriage isn't all rainbows and puppies, some other lovely people are struggling with the same things.

I know a lot of people have great marriages.* But I have to say, knowing that other people wonder if they're cut out for this marriage thing too... well it makes me hopeful, actually. Hopeful that we're not as lost as it seems. Hopeful that we'll sort some of this out. And hopeful that even when I sleep on the couch or don't speak to my husband for 24 hours (on purpose so I don't explode) that maybe I'm not the horrible person that I feel.

Or, maybe I am? 

*Or are at least more secret about their not-so-greatness.

All Alone Over Here

I haven't been blogging much. I haven't had much to say, mostly because I've been struggling a lot. This has been a really tough week.* Amongst other things, I've been swamped at work. I've had jewelry orders to fill and extra pieces to make for a shop in town who is beginning to carry my designs. There are Big Decisions to make. We're going backpacking this weekend and it's the first time we've gone since we were kids so there are plans to make and supplies to purchase. My sister is staying with me while she attends some teacher-type classes. My head aches. I'm building a website and have no idea how to actually do that. The house is filthy. And we're only wearing clean clothes because my lovely sister did the washing this week.

But that's just normal stuff to complain about. What's most frustrating is the total lack of understanding and support from the Husband. If he went to bed every night crying because of exhaustion and way too much to do in far too little time, I'd like to think I'd pat his head and snuggle him and offer to help with some small tasks. I think I would get him coffee in the morning and buy him a special treat just 'cause. I'm sure I wouldn't laugh at him or ignore him or blow his stress off because it's "not real work."

Wouldn't you?

And that's not really the point. The point is that even if I am being ridiculous or even if things will calm down, it doesn't change how completely overwhelmed I feel with everything RIGHT NOW. And right now I could use someone to share it with... which I guess is you lovely ladies instead.

I always heard (and still hear) about how marriage is the best thing ever and how now you'll always have a partner and someone to support you. But it's certainly not all it's cracked up to be.**

*OK, a really tough month or two. 
**and on that note... am I really the only newly married person who can't figure out why in the world she got married in the first place? It seems unlikely that I am, but since I haven't found anyone else like that... perhaps I am?

Ugh.

I went to the doctor today. I haven't been to the doctor in forever and it seemed time to find a new doc, check in, and address a couple of issues.

So that part went fine, more or less. But here's the thing--they put me on a scale. I NEVER step on a scale. I'm not sure we even have one at home. Not because I'm not worried about my weight or because I'm afraid of scales, but because I judge my size by how my clothes fit more than a specific weight.

Except, you guys, now I'm officially huge! Ok, so that part isn't true. But I'm fatter than I've ever been and much bigger than I want to be. When exactly did that happen?

It's very annoying.

So although I've been lacking the motivation, I must start exercising more. Not just walking the mutts, but actual sweat-breaking, out-of-breath making, too-sore-to-move exercising. Now. Today. And I shall check in here now and again so you all can yell at me if I'm not being hardcore. Ok?

First Jewelry Party

Next weekend I'm having my first jewelry party. It's at my friend's house and it's a brunch-type thing where people can come have some food and look through my pieces (and hopefully buy some Mother's Day gifts).

And I'm totally terrified. What if they hate it? What if they talk smack about the prices (which are way too low, by the way, but I'm somehow physically incapable of raising them)? What if we go to all this work and then no one buys anything? What if no one comes?

Black Dresses

I need a black dress.

That shouldn’t be hard, right? I mean, The Little Black Dress is iconic. It’s everywhere. But not the dress I want. My lovely friend is getting married in July and has asked all seven (I know right? Seven?! Poor thing) bridesmaids to wear knee-ish length black dresses. For which I completely love her. Or would, if I could find one.

I ordered* a beautiful one on sale, and when it arrived the material wasn’t nearly as nice as it looked online. And then, the zipper didn’t work well. So I returned it. Then I bought another** which I thought would be fantastic, except that it just doesn’t work with my body. It’s non-refundable though, but I can’t wear it. Believe me, it’s not appropriate. If you’re taller than I am (5’3”) and a little more straight in shape, email me, because I need to get this dress to someone who can wear it.

What I really want is a 50’s style party dress, a la Audrey Hepburn. Which, obviously, doesn’t exist.

So here’s what I’m looking at right now:

 Maggy London Stretch Satin Sheath at Nordstrom

 J. Crew Silk Tricotine Cecelia

Imagine this one without the feathers and knee-length. Perfect. via Ikahn Vintage on Etsy.

 Like this but a little fancier? via Audrey and Grace on Etsy.

 The J.Crew one is my favorite so far because it seems so... basic. Multi-functional. Help?!?! Where should I expand my search to? What hidden shopping secrets do you have? 

*Yes, ordered. I live in the sticks where I have to drive 45 minutes to the next town to a Target or Costco. Or anything, really. It's a cute town, really it is. And I love it. Unless I need something mainstream in which case I have to drive four hours to Seattle. 

**Both were J. Crew but they're not on the site anymore and I remember the names of them to show you.

Naked, I'm Naked!

Ok, not really. But it feels like it.

My very excited puppy Loki jumped into the car to see his sister who he missed after being separated from her for the Christmas holiday (long story involving several vet visits and rapidly changed Christmas plans). He tipped over Husband's mocha onto my iPhone--which we didn't notice for a few minutes. It seemed to clean up fine and the phone worked ok. Until it died because it would no longer charge or connect to the computer.

As with all Apple products, it's cheaper to replace than repair. Ugh.

My new 32 gig 3GS iPhone will be much nicer than my 8 gig 3G phone. And since I bought a refurbished one it was less than a new phone and less than the repair would have cost.

But still. I won't have it until sometime tomorrow and I keep reaching for it. Listen to music at work--oh, nope. Text my sister--oh, nope. Call Husband--oh, nope. Facebook? nope. Check the time. Hmmm, I must have a watch somewhere...  I knew I used my phone a lot, but I didn't realize it was quite THIS bad.

I'd like to be zen and remind myself that this is a nice break from my technological life and how blessed I am to not have to be tied to my phone. But that's not really working for me. Instead, I simply hope to not have a phone-related meltdown until it arrives tomorrow!

Edit: Phone has arrived, been restored with previous phone's settings and life is good. It wasn't actually as painful as I thought it would be, though I am glad to have it back.